In the 3190th YOLD, my Sainthood (Second Class,) was infalliably achieved by the singing and dancing and swearing I did in front of the biggest statue anywhere in the Americas of a deity who is simultaneously a monkey. Genuine worship was mixed in a surreal display with absurdist shouting and swearing before numerous amused and unamused witnesses, following which, I was personally congratulated by Eris Herself, who appeared in the form of a Chimpanzee. At first I thought She was Hanuman, but She graciously corrected me. Gathering Garbage into piles across the street from that Temple, burning some, and burying others, and deciding which bits were sacred, had become my passtime. I am the High Priest of The Grand Disorder of Garbage-Gathering Know-it-alls, and I know nothing.